So.
I really am going to be a mommy...  in September.

I made a journal site for the baby...  haha!!

www.xanga.com/oursweetblessing

Keep us in your prayers, please!!
We're so excited.

I bet you never thought of me as a murderer.
                        H o w e v e r.
Killing plants is something I'm particularly stellar at.
And despite my history with living green things, I have recently started a little indoor garden.  As of now, there is an amaryllis, an orchid, 2 green leafy things and a "garden in a bag" that are still hanging onto life in my kitchen windowsill.  I'm just hoping they stay semi-green until springtime. ..
                                                                                                                   It's a lofty goal for me...
...
Have I mentioned that I have the best husband in the world???
we baked a redvelvet cake tonight.  i just finished with the creamcheese icing.
        
                                                       I am also a mommy.                                                                                                                   (GASP!!!!!)
no, no. ahem.
We got a puppy.  His name is Snoopy.  He snores right along with Andrew... it's pretty amusing, they keep me awake sometimes with their strange little songs...

hmmmm.....  I have icing in my hair.
                                         oh well.
                                                                        g o o d night. 

my husband is sleeping.  i can hear him breathing... 
it's the best sound in the world to fall asleep to.

                 ............ and in the next few minutes, i won't be 21 anymore.

we re-upholstered our dining room chairs.
we make a pretty good team.

               andrew enjoyed dinner (again) tonight.
               i have yet to make something he doesn't like... and he promised to be honest with me.

before we eat, "dear God, thank you for this food.  and thank you most for my wife."

                                         while crying on his shoulder yesterday, "you're a masterpiece."

i love my husband.  and he loves me.
                                     wiith this weird, awesome, best kind of love.

                        such a beautiful, beautiful life You've given me...
us...

holy cow.

we're in the single digits of single time left.

roadtripping this weekend with my best friend to NC to visit my other best friend.

life

is

amazing.

(and stressful.)                                                                                                        and joyful........

so, it's 245am here in columbia.
i have strep throat.

and since i can't sleep, i've been thinking about stuff... and looking at facebook pictures.

i'm growing up.  but i feel like a kid.
feeling excited.  and nervous.  and ready.  almost like christmas. 

i'm moving away from my parents house on a permanent basis in 11 days.
to OUR OWN HOUSE in Woodruff.  (mostly the bank's right now, but ours otherwise)  yay!!!


I love my man.
and I love my God.

18 days til married life. 

a sweet memory from the hospital last week:::::

i pushed his wheelchair up to her hospital bed.
she reached out her wrinkled, trembling hands...
it seemed like she was going to burst with excitement of kissing her husband's weathered face.

they had been separated for a day.
62 years of godly marriage.

they both started crying.....

it was a much sweeter embrace than you could ever see in any movie...

and now i know what it's like to love someone like that.
and i feel like i'm bursting with excitement to kiss his face every day for the rest of my life....

                                                                                      thank you, Jesus.


T-47 days and counting.

this crazy life...

i finished semester number 8 & helped one of my best friends move out of our apartment on thursday.  
she's marrying her best friend in 3 days.

it's been a mixture of bittersweetness these last few weeks. 
sometimes i'm not sure whether to laugh about these exciting changes or to cry for the people i'm losing...

all i know is that i don't ever want to pack or move another box again.
at least not for the next 2 months.   the sound of duct-tape sends shivers down my arms.
 u h h h h h h g.

and there are things that still ache deep in my heart...


         i'm     sorry.

CHECK THIS OUT!!!!!!

hey.

I'm a geek, I know it.

but here.  if you're bored....  
http://www.theknot.com/ourwedding/joannaleigh&andrewsmith

I hope you have a  FANTATSTIC day.

RECAP::::!     
                                                                                                              of the last 24-ish  hours....

1.  get ENGAGED. at 6pm Sunday.  cry.  call mama at 6:34pm.  cry.  eat an oatmeal cream pie for dinner.  praise Jesus.  cry. 
2..  take a random trip to Columbia Monday after clinical.  show mama the pretty ring.  try on 2 wedding dresses. 
(get dizzy.  this is craziness)  purchase the 2nd dress.  and veil.   cry again.  kiss daddy's face...
3...  hug the Easter bunny in the mall.  eat a hamburger and fries at Rush's with mama and mel.
4....  hug my Andrew.  cry.  praise Jesus.......  talk about our wedding...

                     is this real?                Father- You know I don't deserve this.  I don't deserve him.
                                                                  And i'm SO excited you're blessing me anyway...

                                                                                                                                             thank You....

oh. my. goodness.                                                  i'm getting married in 4months...

i just finished a nice, cold, crunchy bowl of frosted flakes. 
        i should be studying for a test at 1:30, but the frosted flakes and thought of a xanga entry were too tempting.


i met a woman named bridget on the sidewalk.  drove her home from the grocery store because she had a lot of bags and it was cold... took her and her kids to church the next day.  she said i have a good heart of gold.  it felt nice... but i couldn't help but think that she just really doesn't know me.

she knows the person i want to be.   the person i try to be.  but not the person i consistently am.

i'm consistently foolish. and selfish. and undisciplined.       
and i forget that it's not my job to try.        it's my job to surrender.

there's this song by Tom Conlon called "The God of Sunday Morning"...

                        I used to memorize the Bible.  I used to memorize it word for word
                            and i would use it like a king, i would swing it like a scepter and a sword....

              You are love, we are not love, i have seen this in religion from my youth...
 
                                                          and the God of sunday morning will be gone by sunday moonlight 
                     and then fall silent for a week, though now and then we let Him speak on Wednesday night...